STEP 1 – “The Sonic series is not what it used to be”. “It just doesn’t feel like the good ol’ days.”
Always be sure start off with the Sonic series’s decline in quality. For example, “Sonic doesn’t control as he did in the good ol’ days.” But don’t elaborate on what you mean by this exactly. Just say it because it’s what everyone else says and you also want to look cool.
STEP 2 – Always reference Mario. Always.
Make Super Mario references whenever possible. There must at least be two Mario references to make a good Sonic review. Be sure to credit anything positive in the game as something borrowed from the Mario franchise and ignore the fact that may not actually be the case.