A game is a event where participants attempt to abide by pre-established rules and meet an objective. The reason is for their own amusement. Games are for fun and so if one is having fun playing a game it’s doing it’s job right? Nothing else should matter right? Not if this guy’s printed on the front!
STEP 1 – “It just doesn’t feel like the good ol’ days.”
Always be sure start off with the Sonic series’s decline in quality. For example, “It just doesn’t feel like the good ol’ days.” But don’t elaborate on what you mean by this exactly. Just say it because it’s what everyone else says and you also want to look cool.
STEP 2 – Always reference Mario. Always.
Make Super Mario references whenever possible. There must at least be two Mario references to make a good Sonic review. Be sure to credit anything positive in the game as something borrowed from the Mario franchise and ignore the fact that may not actually be the case.
However, don’t make it obvious! Go for a crude approach like writing “a certain Italian plumber” instead of saying Mario so only true gamers would understand such an obscure reference which will in turn boost your rep as a games reviewer.
You see all Sonic games try to emulate Mario titles. I mean, you would think that the two would share similarities because they are both platformers but NO, these similarities only come because Sonic wants to be Mario and don’t be afraid to point that out.